The Mirthful Church

Welcome Subjugglators and other blooded cult members to the Mirthful Church area of The Dark Carnival! This area is on the otherside of the big top on the otherside of the blood fountain. There are pews lined up one behind the other, black wood and lied with troll skin dyed red. The pulpit sits in front atop a stage surrounded by skulls and roses. Behind the stage on the wall are the protraits of all the Ancient Ones, Lord English's portrait hangs above them all as the largest and most important. the walls are colored in fushia blood only in this area.

TBC

The Bible, The Gospel Of Hilarity Book One


Verse 1: Before The Begining

There was The Carnival

And the Dark Carnival was ruled by the Most Mirthful Messiahs, with bloody, billard ball eyes, and raging wings

And the Bloodied and Rageful Messiahs laughed and His tears of Holy Blood fell and there was created the green and pink moons. Flapped His great wings and created rock and sea and creature, and it was called Alternia. The two of Darkest Slaughter brought forth from his sacred tents of candy floss and caramel popcorn, and created the troll race, giving them the purplest of bloods. But soon the race proved unworthy of the Righteous Mirth and and so the Messiahs rained down as the Angel of Double Death, flying from the carnival to Alternia, slaughtering the unfunny sinners, and distilling their unholy blood, creating the colours of the haemospectrum.

The Angel gathered the faithful of the Messiahs, and dubbed them subjugglator. The Subjugglators were left the Angel’s most bloodstained juggling clubs, and the Angel called upon his power as the Messiahs to bless his faithful. a messenger flowed down from the Carnival, prophet and herald of doom to those who'd existed before, son of the messiahs and by then the other side to the messiahs as one side had eaten the other and thus needed a new half, The  Father, he created from nothingness a demon embodiment of the carnival itself.He gifted unto the the purpleblood caste the sound of the Rageful One’s maniacal laughter to shake the night with terror, and the Angel bid this to be called chucklevoodoos. The Bloodied One sent a cholarbear to die in a nearby lake, and the corpse dissolved in the water, creating the wicked elixir, and the Angel bid this to be called Faygo.

The Angel of Double Death left the faithful clowns, Subjugglators, with these three divine gifts and returned to the Dark Carnival to slay those whose screams make the Messiahs laugh.

And so the faithful are charged to prove their devotion to the Mirthful Messiahs with the Mirthful Commandments:

Thou must spread death and destruction whereever thy tread, o'er the heads of those beneath thy perfect purple blood

Thou art are given clubs as a grub. It is thy sworn duty to figure out the use of these clubs.

Thou must learn to juggle by thyself without flaw.

Thou must never taketh off thy face paint and walketh naked in the presence of another troll unless they are in thyn romantic quadrants.to do so is a sin

Thou must stay loyal to your romantic quadrants. Punishment for breaking this rule is death.

Thou may only sleep with another troll outside of thyn romantic quadrants if they are of purple blood and a follower of the Mirthful Messiahs.

Thou must never kill another troll of purple blood unless they attacked with intent of purposeful physical harm to thyn being or that of thyn romantic quadrants

Thou must not lie, always be straightforward with thyn statements and thoughts.

Thou will give sacrifices to the Dark Carnival once thou hath reached thyn realization point.

A realization point is in which all events lead to thou realizing thyn true potential. Every subjugglator will face this.

Thou must ingest the elixir, for it is a gift

Thou must snort the special stardust, for it is a gift.

Thou must remember the miracles in life. If thou forsaketh the miracles, thou forsaketh thynself.

Thou must treat all other blood that is not perfect purple blood as the scum they are unless they are in any of thyn quadrants or of any true signifigance.

Kissing is not considered sinful. Thou may kiss any motherfucker thy wish, whenever thy so wish to.

Shalt thou get thyn own blood splashed across thyn paint; thou must let it remain until the wound doth heal

Thou shalt not believe in any other faith, to do so will cast thee into the depths of the unfunny and most sinful, thou shall be banished from the church, stripped of subjugglator status and silence will be thyn own company, for never again will the lord god Messiahs laughter ring within thyn ears.

Thou must make the motherfucker to be sacrificed realize thou art chosen by god, therefore superior to they, shit of the lower part of the lord's clubs, before their deaths.

All purple bloods are subjugglators, whether they wish it to or not. If thou findeth another who does not follow the one true faith, they convert or die like the heretic blaspheming sinners that they art.

Thou must laugh at least twice every night, paying homage to the great joke that is the lord

Sacrifice, Thou must perform sacrifice at least four times a night

Thou must to make the unworthy scream to hear the chuckling voodoos.

Verse 3: And so,

There came a time when the First Grand Highblood of the Church of the Messiahs’ Carnival, known by all as, The Father, lost and confused in his faith, spend five nights and four days in a state of Holy Rage, using his slaughter as a prayer for the Messiahs to bless upon him Their guidance. On the fifth night, the Grand Highblood was given a revelation, and it made his mirth so great he dropped his clubs and ended the sacred right of Holy Rage. Having seen the light of the Messiahs before his eyes, heard the vast honk that tore through a universe beside his own.

He rushed forth, to his throne room, where the one known as The Ancestor Of The Sea Barons, approached with intent to mock and demean his faith and his name, enraged by this, The First Grand Highblood reached out, speaking of Miracles and The Vast Honk he knew would one day reign death upon them all in glory.

He crushed the sinning head and spread the blood across the walls, labeling this act, Painting The Wicked Miracles. As he had been shown in his visions of the blood splashed across walls as deaths were handed out by the thousands during the time before other bloods aside from purple walked Alternia. During the Vast Purge of the Angel Of Double Death to the unworthy Clowns Of Old.

Verse 4 The First Grand Highblood, The Father, begot The Masked Highblood, created from his voodoos, by then The Father had been blessed the The Mirthful Ones himself, son as well to The First \Father was TheOne, a demon taking the form of a troll, together with his daughter the First Witch Of Time, Dheath, They Spread the lord's works throughout the lands.

Verse 5  And so it was

During a time of grand war between the subjugglators of hell and the subjuggators of heaven, The First Father

and his lusus,who'd cared for him in the stead of the messiahs, a great four eared two tailed wolf,lived. The lusus

perished before the war, leaving The First Father and his children, born of his spilled blood, to do battle.

He was slain, whipped a thousand times in certain areas of his body with a glowing blue whip which remains lost to history, crucified on an upside down cross. He is reincarnated into every generation, and with the glowing lines that mark him as, The Father. All his brothers are reborn with the same markings that represent how they died.

Verse 6-7: The Vast Honk will begin with the Messiahs’ descent to Alternia, where all faithful clowns will gather under the Rageful One’s wings, and he will gift all Subjugglators with his Holy Rage.

And so said the lord, "so shall thou go forth, and the worlds shall be purged of the unmirthful" The Messiahs will call down the Carnival onto Alternia, and the clouds will cover the sun in eternal night, and they shall rain Faygo.The Angel of Double Death will sit at the left of the Ringmasters’ Thrones, and The First Grand Highblood and all those decended from him to bear the title to the right. Clowns shall kneel before the Holy Thrones, and the ground will shake with chucklevoodoos. The 8 Ancient Ones of the subjug sects of Calm, Loneliness, Fear, Insanity, Laughter, Rage, Wrath and Mirth shall appear and cast judgement all in one place.



Verse 8 Once, there came a time when The Father, dying from his injuries, gathered his brothers and his sisters of the church, in truth his children, and he spoke onto them, "My children, come forth and kneel before your father, I have been given a vision of divine might from our Lord Messiahs" And he outstretched his great hand and took the bones of a recently sacrificed troll         crushing them to dust with one hand and spitting in the other, he took this holy spit and mixed it with the dust and blew it in the faces of his children.

The dust flew around as if small blue stars, and so was called, Special Stardust.

Now, this Special Stardust was at one time only used by The Father himself, for it was blood he'd drunk from his lusus' corpse that granted him the power to replicate that shining stared silver blood. But upon his death it is said to have flowed from his veins, a gift to all his children, for them to cultivate and to use, to snort and to injest, so that they might be blessed by his holy Mirthful hand, out stretched in the lord's work.

Chuckle Voodoo: The Mental Voodoo (Ref Kurloz&Gamzee)
+ Common voodoo

+ Though/memory influence/manipulation

+ telechenetic speech

+ Mild/complete mind control

+ requires normal training to master.